Wednesday, December 28, 2005

long overdue Jamaica report

Where to begin .....

DK and I had a blast in Jamaica we took a flight out of Cleveland at 5:45 am on Saturday December 3 and arrived on the sunny beaches of Montego Bay around 2:30 pm. As soon as we were finished checking in we hit the bar IN the pool. The resort that we stayed in (see post from November 30th) was beautiful there was a view of the bay, the ocean, and the mountains. The beach was approximately 300 steps away from my 9th floor suite. The ocean in the Caribbean is the most amazing color of bluish green.

On day two of the trip we went on a booze cruise. A big flat boat came and picked our party up from Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville bar (which was stupid and heavily over priced) but the cruise was spectacular. The crew was made up of three men and one woman, they never stopped dancing and singing and handing us drink after drink. We went out a few miles from the coast and did some snorkeling, DK loved this he was like a little fish it was hard to get him back on the boat, he was having a blast. I, on the other hand, am not so keen on swimming in the ocean and was much more comfortable on the boat with a Red Stripe in my hand.

On another evening we went to a place called "The Luminous Lagoon" this place is cool! It is home to microscopic organisms in the water that emit a phosphorescent light when the water is agitated. You can wave your hands or drag a stick in the water to make the water glow in the dark, you could see fish darting under the water. DK and some of the other people in our group got in and swam around. There are only four places in the world like this and Jamaica's is said to be the best and brightest.



We also visited Dunn's River Fall's, a very popular tourist site in Jamaica. It is a long flowing water fall and you can hike from the base were it flows into the ocean all the way up 600 feet to the mouth. This trip was a ton of fun but it took nearly 2 hours each way in the car on the most jacked up road you could ever imagine. This trip was bitter sweet to me.

DK also went deep sea fishing, his group caught a 50 pound Marlin. The crew beat the fish to death with a baseball bat ... good thing I did not come along.

The rest of the time was spent at out resort, we drank and drank and drank. We played pool volleyball and drank. On second to the last day of the trip I got up at breakfast and immediately went to the pool bar, sat there and got so drunk that I was passed out by 8:30. I missed our dinner reservation and was really sad but DK saved the day by paying off one of the workers to bring me some dinner.

The Jamaican vacation was a really great time ... I can't believe that I am back in the cold!!

average December temperature in Jamaica 85.
average December temperature in Ohio .. damb cold!

Thursday, December 22, 2005

are you fucking kidding me; part III

I have not done a segment on "are you fucking kidding me" for some time so I thought I would get everyone up to date on how much I hate my job.

As I am typing this there are two people in my office sitting at their desks .. SLEEPING! Do any of you know what would happen to me if I was caught sleeping??? DO YOU?? I would be fired... that's right fired, not only fired but forced to give back all the pay I have ever made here.

FUCK THEM

Friday, December 16, 2005

things I learned today

1. Flat Coke tastes bad but flat Diet Coke tastes worse.
2. Not to tell the guy at the 3rd St Subway extra mayo.
3. Slush is more slippery than it looks.
4. Remembering how to do a mother fucking mail merge on Word is a bitch.

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