I'M A BEGINNERRRRR ..........

Over last weekend a bunch of my friends and I went on a ski trip to West Virginia. We had a blast, I have to say that skiing is not for me but I will never pass up an opportunity to hang out in a nice cabin and drink all weekend. This post is a collaboration of stories and quotes from the trip.

We arrived on Friday night around 11:00, it had been raining hard the entire 5 hour drive and all of us were exhausted and disappointed at the rain knowing that we would not be able to ski the next day. We still managed to make a big spaghetti dinner and pound down some serious drinks.

When I woke up on Saturday morning and looked out the window, much to my surprise, there was about 4 inches of snow on the ground. DK was so excited he ran up the stairs pumping his fists in excitement. A few minutes later PW ran up the stirs and did a sort of a jig in the same excitement.

After a wonderful breakfast of eggs, bacon, and biscuits (made by your truly) we were off. Keep in mind that our cabin is WAY up in the mountains. We make the drive all the way down to the ski area and everyone gets the needed equipment for the day. Poor DK is an experienced skier, unfortunately for him I had never skied before and he was stuck "teaching me". About 35 seconds after I get the skis on my feet I realize that it is just not going to work and this is not my sport. DK convinces me "Just try it, you never know you could be a natural." About 35 more seconds go by and I have been on my ass about 10 times. I figure .. okay I will try. DK and I go to the lift area and stand in line to be taken up. We get on the lift, so far so good, so I am thinking this can't be too bad. The lift that we are taking had a mid-point that DK and I need to get off at ... so we are going up .. up .. up .. and here is the mid-way ... oooohhh shit .. missed it .. in a panic I turn and yell at the top of my lungs "IIIIIII'MMMMM AAAAAA BBBBEEEEGGGIINNNNEEERRRRR" at this point I am in a straight panic ..



ME: Oh my God DK what am I going to do? I am flipping out! Oh God DK what will I do?
DK: Calm down, we will just ride the lift back down it is not a big deal.
ME: Okay..... gosh this is getting really high.
ME: Seriously, how high are we going up?
ME: DK what the hell is this thing taking us to heaven?
DK: Don't worry it will be fine.

5 billion miles later

DK: Okay here it comes we will just tell the guy we are riding back.

The Guy: You can't ride back it is too dangerous.
DK: We have to she has never skied before.
The Guy: You can't there are 40 mile per hour winds on the way back you can't do it.
DK: Well what the hell are we supposed to do?
The Guy: There is a ski shack over there ask those guys what to do.



In the ski shack:

Ski Guys: So you have never skied before?
ME: Never.
Ski Guys: Okay, we will have a snowmobile come up and get you.



So yes ... I had to be taken down the side of the mountain on a snowmobile. Needless to say the day was long and I spent most of the time on my ass yelling at DK "I fucking hate skiing" Later everyone met up at the ski lodge and we headed back to the cabin ... oh what it this? the car will not make it up the mountain because it is icy? oh ....great. What do we do now? You know what we had to do? DO YOU? We had to climb the mountain to get back to the cabin. That's right .. climb a fucking mountain. No one talked much during this hike. We were all tired and pissed that we were climbing a mountain. When we finally arrive I go in the cabin, strip off all my ski gear and say:

FUCK SKIING, FUCK THIS CABIN, AND FUCK WEST VIRGINIA .... and I meant it.

The rest of the weekend was great, needless to say I did not join DK, PW, or JM the next day to ski. I stayed in the nice warm cabin and drank and played games with T and TN.



Some quotes:

"No .. they will see my beaver."

"The absence of sound woke me up..."

"You don't get a body like this from cross country skiing."

"I'm just too tired, too high, and too drunk to play."

And of coarse the infamous

"I'M A BEGINNER"

and

"Fuck skiing, fuck this cabin, and fuck West Virginia"