What a bore

I was reading through some of my old posts and I think that I have become progressively more boring. I really need to jazz it up on here. No wonder no one ever leaves comments BECAUSE I AM BORING! Anyway, help me think people, I swear to God I am funny and have lots of stories to tell. Oh, I think that I am going to tell a funny story that happened a long while back:

A few friends of mine were "guest bartenders" for a small campus bar because they were in a contest with other guest bartenders to see who could have the highest sales over a few month period or some shit like that. Anyway the grand prize was a trip to Vegas. So my old roommate and I went into this bar with the intension of spending as much money our small budgets could handle. We pick a seat at the bar and precede to order our regular drinks, her a vodka seven, me a Bud Light or maybe a Bombay Dry and tonic who knows... whatever. So a little later this guy, mid-30's, Asian, DRUNK, sits next to me. He speaks very drunken', broken, English but he manages to get out that my roomy and I are beautiful and he wants to buy our drinks for the rest of the evening. Sweet ass! Patrone for me!! So me and old roomy get smashed off our asses, I mean the point is to get the sales up for my buddies right! Well after a period of time Mr. Asian wants me to go home with him his exact words were "You go home with me?" and I am like hell no dude. Well this pisses Mr. Asian right the fuck off. He stands up and smacks me in the face. I not talking like a smack on a toddlers hand I talking WACK .. so hard that it knocks me off my fucking barstool. So here I am laying on the floor, laughing my ass off because I don't know what else to do. The bouncer runs over picks the guy up and tosses him out the door. I get up and I am like seriously what the fuck just happened. Then out of nowhere this fuck runs back into the bar and smacks an other friend of mine who had nothing to do with anything and then one of our other friends punches the guy in the face. Needless to say the guy got blasted out of the bar and his tab ended up being like $90.00 or something ... what an ass.

I mean come on guys this is good shit.